It these modern times, the most appropriate way to look back at the past year might be via status updates. Then again, maybe not. Warning: Most of these are about the cat, sports, and work.
January 3 at 11:53pm: K.S. Petty is a food coma. [after his birthday dinner at the Kitchen]
January 4 at 9:22pm: K.S. Petty acknowledges it's a banner year.
January 11 at 3:51pm: K.S. Petty is quelling his brother's reactions as the Chargers choke.
January 14 at 10:01pm: K.S. Petty is always being meowed at.
January 20 at 10:43pm: K.S. Petty is all about America again. [inauguration day]
January 22 at 5:07pm: K.S. Petty is enjoying his third and fourth eye. [got glasses]
February 8 at 6:23pm: K.S. Petty is, like, planning a wedding and stuff.
February 18 at 6:12pm: K.S. Petty is hoisting his John Salmons jersey to the rafters. [Salmons and Miller traded for Nocioni and Drew Gooden]
March 8 at 1:21pm: K.S. Petty is avoiding articles on composition theory. [grad school]
March 15 at 12:43pm: K.S. Petty 13.1 miles and twice as many groans. [finished 3rd in my age group and averaged a 6:38 mile]
April 17 at 12:31pm: K.S. Petty can't believe MSNBC publicly referred to April 15th "Tea Party" protests as "Tea Bagging." [a good year for politics]
April 25 at 9:11pm: K.S. Petty is going to World Cup 2010 in South Africa. [a good year for sports]
April 27 at 5:35pm: K.S. Petty admits it's a good thing he introduced the Swineherd in the Odyssey just in time for this flu epidemic. [the year of H1N1]
May 2 at 7:44am: K.S. Petty dedicates Saturday to tuxedos, grades, and the fall of Rondo. [weddings, work, and the NBA finals]
May 11 at 6:20pm: K.S. Petty will put this portfolio to bed. [grad school semester ends]
May 17 at 9:26pm: K.S. Petty doesn't need to read the paper anymore because Facebook users deliver all of his news.
May 19 at 8:51pm: Sweet! Fourth pick in a two-person draft! [Tyreke Evans has since made a fool out of me]
June 6 at 3:23pm: K.S. Petty saw The Hangover and saw more than he bargained for [this comment was about penises, but it's still a hilarious film]
June 11 at 9:21pm: What?! Kobe Bryant threw an elbow in the post season? Never seen that before. [this one upset some people]
June 20 at 9:15pm: K.S. Petty is cold and the Giants can't close the deal. [Father's day at PacBell Park that included an extra innings game-winner on a wild pitch]
June 24 at 11:24am: K.S. Petty is yelling, "Bocanegra!" and the other customers don't care. [Confederations Cup. The three updates that followed? "ALTIDORE!!!" and "DEMPSEY!!!", then USA!! USA!! USA!!"]
June 25 at 6:42pm: Michael Jackson died a loooooooooong time ago. [stolen from my brother in-law]
July 6 at 10:34am: Today I made it official. There will be booze at the wedding. [purchased all the alcohol for the wedding]
July 10 at 4:09pm: K.S. Petty is scotch, dominoes, and a collection of inside jokes with repeated callbacks. [bachelor party in Bodega Bay]
July 17 at 8:17pm: K.S. Petty is tying up loose ends that will eventually become a knot.
July 17 at 10:46am: Programs? Check. Booze? Check. Table cards? Check. Wedding ceremony rehearsal notes? Check. Find out your principal just quit via email? Check. [this one ended up working out for the better, but the timing was terrible]
July 18 at 5:50am: Let's roll. [wedding day]
July 18 at 10:45pm: Ceremony, reception, bowling, Harry's Cafe, fin.
August 4 at 4:49pm: El ultimo dia en espana. Pobre sito!
August 8 at 2:20pm: K.S. Petty went all the way to Barcelona only to come home and see Barca play Chivas after Quakes vs Crew.
August 15 at 7:24pm: K.S. Petty thinks Michael Vick needs to play football since his attempt at another economic venture landed him in jail.
August 17 at 10:26pm: Is it hot in here, or did i just watch the season premiere of Mad Men? [if you don't watch it, you aren't fully human]
August 24 at 8:50pm: Dear Facebook, I'll never tell you everything, even though some people do. Regards, Kyle
August 30 at 6:43am: K.S. Petty is afraid the cat will give herself a concussion if she keeps headbutting my kneecaps.
September 10 at 9:43pm: We should all be glad this Caster Semenya case arose in an arena that so forcefully depends on distinctions between what is "male" and what is "female."
September 19 at 2:05pm: Book is finished, papers are graded, yard work is done, new mason jennings cd has arrived, and I'm getting ready to pop bottles and celebrate. [Stephanie's birthday party]
September 23 at 8:25pm: K.S. Petty realized that nearly all the stories in the state-adopted anthology he uses to teach ninth graders are either about selfishness, war, or murder, and always involve wine, whiskey, or cigarettes.
September 29 at 8:45pm: K.S. Petty is teaching manners today, along with how-to-eat-indoors-without-attracting-ants. These are two areas the state does not consider important, but one in which my students need educating.
October 1 at 9:38pm: K.S. Petty loves checking up on his friends and acquaintances via facebook; hates reading updates about farms, drink passing, and mafia wars.
October 11 at 7:26pm: K.S. Petty wonders what SNL will do when Fred Armistad isn't around to play the light-skinned black guys, the Arabs and Muslims, the Italians, the Latinos, and an array of nerdy white guys. Who will they turn to to single-handedly blur the racial stereotypes!?
October 15 at 4:19pm: Dear Major League Baseball: Your current playoffs can't save the mistakes of the last decade. I am avoiding your playoff fever like swine flu.
October 20 at 6:42pm: Thank you, hide feature.
October 23 at 4:20pm: K.S. Petty wishes a credential program could teach classroom recovery strategies for spiders on overheads, students breaking wind, and construction equipment vibrating the floor.
November 4 at 9:08pm: Home alone is bourbon.
November 11 at 7:12am: K.S. Petty saw the "Happy Memorial Day" post in the obit. section of the Bee and wondered about the downfalls of missing school on Veteran's Day.
November 23 at 7:03am: K.S. Petty woke up to the cat on a Monday and not an alarm. Three cheers for vacation!
November 25 at 9:25pm: K.S. Petty is thankful for The Wire on DVD.
December 1 at 3:15pm: K.S. Petty is always singing Bone Thugs n Harmony on the first of da month.
December 12 at 4:30pm: K.S. Petty will not pronounce the hard "ch" when he says "Chanukah" tonight.
December 20 at 12:00pm: K.S. Petty blames the dairy industry for the persistent adaptation of the "Got ____________?" slogans that refuse to die.
December 22 at 8:00am: K.S. Petty stayed up late to watch the second airing of the Kings' stunner in Chicago because it's so damn fun to be relevant. [Kings erase 35-point deficit, the largest comeback in franchise history]
December 22 at 2:52pm: The ticket stub says "Avatar," but I swear I just watched a remake of the 1992 animated film Fern Gully: The Last Rainforest.
December 26 at 8:58am: K.S. Petty is enjoying his traditional plight in times of worklessness: blogging.
December 26 at 4:35pm: K.S. Petty bets he an get the zip code for Owl City from the Postal Service.
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