"Taste the sugar with the salt," and other cliches to live by.

You've got to roll with the punches.
Life has its ups and downs.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Any number of mind-numbing cliches remind me that the lives we lead (or march within, rather) are anything but static entities. The plateaus, as my mind concocts them, range in distance and elevation, and then at times fail to exist at all. And while I find little to complain about in my life at this particular moment, I can't help but comment on the dichotomous nature of the happenings of these past few weeks.

The first story comes on the heels of the last blog in which I detailed the playful extravagance of the Zook-Petty anniversary trip in Las Vegas. Near the moment our marriage entered its second year (somewhere in a Las Vegas airport terminal), I received word that another marriage, one I'd attended just 5 years back, had crumbled. But, you've got to take the change-ups with the fastballs. You put the good on hold; you fortify, shield, and steel the ones you love against the bad. I offered up condolences and comforts. I adhered to the bifurcated view of the world I'd created. I tried to balance these conflicting emotions.

From this, though, I realized the foolish absolutism I employed to view this separation. From the surface, divorce of course appears an end, a tragic splintering of a family unit. The more I spoke to my friend, the more I realized that his voice possessed a clarity, an intentionality, and a strength I thought he'd lost. Marriage was his sacrifice, not his haven. He'd buried away the truest version of himself as a byproduct of the assumption that it would ensure his partner's happiness. I realized, in hearing him speak so candidly, that I wasn't balancing emotions so much as juggling my skewed perception of them.

On the home front (and unfortunately on the road as well), the private sector has slammed my wife against the wall and demanded she jump higher, run faster, and sweat harder. Unable to combat the threat of an unpaid mortgage and unwilling to promote even the inkling that any task is impossible for her, she's stayed late, gone in early, and found ways to perform even in the smallest of moments between living. She hacked away at keys until impossible hours in a hotel room last weekend, then rose at 7:00, worked until 9:45, and attended a wedding, after which she drove nearly three hours to return, yes, to work.

All this, while I enjoyed the twilight of my summer vacation by fraternizing with family and friends at Chris and Katy's destination wedding, where I imbibed in excess, and let a permanent state of relaxation and irresponsibility carve an increasingly deep smile on my face. Stephanie tells me that someone needs to enjoy the fruits of such hard work--or that teachers earn their summers, but as the contrasts between our roles shows its late-summer clarity, I wonder how my meandering through grocery stores, experiments in the kitchen, and afternoons in the garden compare with her obligation to seek out and account for billable hours.

This wonder didn't impede my indulgence at the wedding. And while I had my share of fun, I took it as my personal duty to make sure my brother and his new wife remained unfazed by the pressures of planning and carrying out this union. This emphasis on de-stressing the bride and groom, the parents, even the photographers, couldn't quell my own reactions to the state of the setting around me. The wedding, a prototypical "new beginning," seemed, at times, offset by the disrepair of an aging, dated Tahoe region. The glitz of State Line, the rustic charm of the condominiums, and the lure of the casino all seemed stained by smoke, chipped paint, and shoddy construction. The lake itself, the resurgence of the pine forests in the valley, and the eastern ridge-top views of the Carson Valley below managed to sustain the mountain charm the new couple likely envisioned for their special moment. The other elements, however, screamed, "RECESSION."

Though I gave myself wholeheartedly to this wedding, I kept track of Owen Britton's development at every opportunity. Pregnancy, childbirth, and parenthood all possess positive, at times even flowery connotations, and to consider that people must embark on parenting with anything less than unfettered joy remains difficult to comprehend. But on this roller coaster of emotions, I can't shake the thought that expectation, hope, and reality have tugged at Chris, Chelsea, and their families. The feelings obfuscate my own naive understandings of their positions, for they have endured so many complex emotions in such a short window of time that my outside perspective of their situation makes the big picture difficult to digest, or even recognize.

Is there a point to this, I wonder? As I try to make sense of things, I'm not so sure. I think now what I'm faced with is a reminder that the big picture is far too impractical to take at face value. My perception of the "known" is comprised of so many facets, features, and lineaments of uncertainty--of particulates and unknowns, really--that I just have to live in the moment, take life as it comes, and accept the good with the bad.

Sure. That'll be easy.