Youth Day, 2010

We spent the national holiday driving through the region in one way or another. Safaris, I've gathered, are supposed to be primitive. I imagine the open-air vehicle creaking and rocking through "the bush" and an expansive terrain where rare and wild animals live out the course of their lives, occasionally for paying customers. But I'm not in Africa for a safari. I'm here for the World Cup. But while we're here, why not spend today in South Africa's Northwest Province--Pilanesberg National Park--and take a chance to test my theory.

Our driver Nelson arrived early, around 7:45, and nine guests piled into the van eagerly anticipating all the day's offerings. Nelson's planning, however, led to a rapid deterioration of both our eagerness and our collective patience. After three stops (two of which were incorrect, one of which involved some questionable waiting), we had picked up more passengers and were northbound by 9:20, heading in the exact same direction as Royal Bafoking Stadium, the site of the U.S. v. England match last Saturday.

The travel time affords me the opportunity to explain some observations about this emerging country. For one, the smell of diesel in the urban streets of Jo'burg is, at times, offensive. Production obviously takes fuel, and it hangs in the air. When you leave the city, however, your nostrils must contend with the strong scent of wildfire, as smoke rises from chimneys, villages, and open grasslands across the horizon.

Another recurring theme here is protection. Everything, and I mean everything, warrants a protective fence or wall. Fence tops become sharp points, and when walls are preferred, spikes rise from upper tier. Then, perhaps to prove a point, electric fences or barbed wire wind above. All told, the South Africans enclose their worlds in 8 to 10 foot fortresses.

South Africans also use different terminology for various driving-related nouns. Stop lights, for instance are "robots." This is funniest in context. For instance, one man gave Nelson directions that included, "turn right at the second robot." We're still trying to figure out what they call headlights.

At noon, we finally reached the national park. We parted with Nelson, still perturbed at his pickup schedule, but more that he'd taken us on a totally unnecessary driving tour of nearby Sun City, a gaudy oasis for gamblers, golfers, and Ghana's Men's National Team.

Though Nelson had put my theory about the primitiveness of the safari in jeopardy, I tried my best to remain optimistic about the experience. The sights did not disappoint. I drew numerous parallels to Yellowstone--then reminded myself I was in Africa.
This rhino hung out by a roundabout.
These prompted our guide to make the obligatory "these are painted donkeys" joke.
We called it a wildebeest. The guide said "vile-de-best." Okay. You win.
We saw plenty of giraffes. The guide continuously complimented their eyelashes.

As we ambled out of the truck at the conclusion of our safari, Nelson and our van were nowhere in sight. Our guide herded us together again and drove us down the highway in his (windowless) safari truck toward Sun City at a whopping 45 km/h. We spotted road signs that indicated the speed limit was at times 100 km/h. Cars used the other side of the one-lane high way to speed by us going twice our speed. Even spotting a cluster of elephants from the road could not forgive Nelson in our eyes.

Certain members of our group felt--well demanded, actually--that they paid for a tour that included both a safari and time in Sun City. They wanted to take photographs of the palaces and hotel grounds and drop change in the casino. A majority of us, including Nelson, wanted to return to Jo'burg for tonight's Bafana Bafana match (South Africa v. Uruguay). "We're not here to sight see," we argued. Eventually, we found a compromise that involved Wimpy's Burgers, and in the process realized Nelson isn't that bad of a guy. He wondered to us why "some people" seemed to demand a false sense of leadership. He praised the U.S. and most visitors from there, saying that South Africans are rooting for our footballers nearly as much as teams from the African continent. He also swore he'd get us back to Jo'burg in 90 minutes, and told us he'd drop us off first. "If 'some people' want this trip to last longer, then I can make it so for them only." Another Nelson doing what's best for South Africa.

Another update on Ben's sleeping situation. We entered the room to find a new bed altogether. Ben is now luxuriously sprawling on a double bed. To recap, in six nights, he's slept on two twins put together, one twin alone, and now a double.